Hurts Like Hell
by Mia Vaan
Summary: Lucifer returns to Los Angeles having made a big decision... Speculation for 2x14.


**Disclaimer: Don't own** _ **Lucifer**_ **.**

 **AN: I don't think I've ever written this much in speculation of a single upcoming episode. But anyway, this came to me after reading an interview with Tom Ellis. He said that when Lucifer returns to LA in the next episode, he would have made a very big decision – which is apparently a big twist for the show. Everyone is assuming it's him getting married, but I don't think so for one reason: "Candy Morningstar" is only appearing in one episode. Seriously, if she was that important a character – relating to a big decision that leads to a big twist – wouldn't she be around for a lot longer than a single episode?**

 **This got me thinking about what other big decision Lucifer could make that would lead to a big twist…and after thinking it through, the obvious one stuck out. Something that people have been hoping for.**

 **The story title comes from the Fleurie song of the same name. I think it would fit amazingly for a scene like this.**

* * *

When Lucifer showed up on her doorstep, after the murderer was found and the paperwork had been done, Chloe almost slammed the door in his face.

The look on his face stopped her; the look that told her he knew he screwed up, and wanted to explain himself. Because if there was anything she deserved after everything he'd put her through, it was an explanation.

"I…I know I'm the last person you want to see," Lucifer began, "but…I need to talk to you."

"Yes," said Chloe flatly. "You do."

Lucifer sighed, and she stepped aside to let him in, not even offering him a smile as she closed the door behind him. Maybe she was being harsh, but could anyone really blame her?

He'd broken her heart; left her hanging just when their relationship was going somewhere. What hurt was that she wasn't even surprised. She should have seen it coming. She told him he made her vulnerable, he vanished for three weeks. He asked her out for dinner, and then never arrived. It was a pattern with him, a good reason why she hadn't wanted to take a chance and take their relationship further.

But she had. And of course, he'd let her down. After saving her _life_.

The worst part was when he'd arrived on the crime scene, completely out of the blue after going off the grid for _weeks_ , alongside a woman who just happened to bear his last name. And after hearing that she was a stripper and that Lucifer had met her in Vegas, well, she could be forgiven for jumping to conclusions. Amenadiel had set her straight, telling her that "Candy Morningstar" was their _sister_ , which made her feel silly for not thinking of that perfectly reasonable explanation.

Seriously, the lack of wedding rings should have tipped her off.

And Candy wasn't even her real name, though Chloe could understand why the woman had used that name instead of her real name, Azrael (and Chloe was officially certain that Lucifer's family grew up in some crazy religious cult, because that would be the only explanation for all the religious names and crazy-talk).

So Lucifer hadn't married some random stripper in Vegas (something which would be just like him but also too predictable). Fine. But that didn't mean he was off the hook, because he still _left_ her. He didn't even say goodbye.

It _hurt_.

She couldn't think of anything he could say that would make things better; that could help her forgive him for his stupid actions and get them back on track.

For a minute, they both stood facing each other in her apartment, before Lucifer began to pace a little. Like he was gearing himself up to say something important.

"I'm sorry," he told her, but even as he spoke the words he couldn't bring himself to look at her. "I truly am."

"That word is meaningless unless you mean it," Chloe told him. "You've apologised so many times for pulling these stunts, but then you keep on doing them."

He nodded. "I know. I…I have my reasons, but…you wouldn't understand. Though I suppose you're about to."

 _About to?_ "What?"

Lucifer took in a deep breath, and then finally, he turned to face her. There were the beginnings of tears in his eyes, and despite her anger Chloe felt her heart go out to him. He looked like a man faced with certainty of death.

"I left because…I didn't think what we had…was real. Though there were other reasons…"

What? _That_ was why he ran? "Lucifer, I told you that it was real. I thought we got passed that. We were on the same page, and I finally realized what I felt for you-"

"Perhaps you thought that, Detective." It hurt more than it should've done that he referred to her by her title rather than her first name, which he'd started to use right before he left. "But you didn't _know_."

 _Know what?_ She was reminded of that moment in her apartment, when her nose was bleeding and he arrived, looking so heartbroken and distraught. _Did you know? This whole blood time, did you know?!_ That was what he had said, or rather, yelled. She hadn't paid attention; been too occupied by the blood coming out of her nose and the realization that the Professor had somehow poisoned her.

She had debated his words after he left. Had asked Maze and Amenadiel, but both hadn't said anything.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Neither of us knew," said Lucifer. "It was all a game; a manipulation set up by my Father! You may have the free will to choose, Detective, but if you were purposely put in my path and put in this situation, are you really choosing at all?!"

 _What the Hell?!_ Chloe shook her head. "Manipulation? Your father? What does your father have to do with us? To do with me?"

He laughed, but it was bitter and hollow. It sounded so _wrong_ compared to the joyous laughter she was so used to hearing. "Everything. He put you here, in my path. He _knew_ I was going to leave Hell, so He decided to turn my desire for freedom into another one of His _bloody_ games!"

Chloe bit her bottom lip to prevent a knee-jerk reaction from coming out. She couldn't bite back and tell him that it wasn't real – that God and Hell didn't exist, and that he wasn't the Devil – because he wouldn't listen. Linda had told her, after he'd left, that the best thing to do was to go along with it. Because fighting back would just make things worse and cause an unnecessary argument.

So she didn't. Instead she took in a deep breath and said, "Is that why you left? Because your Daddy Issues got in the way?"

He didn't lash out at her like she expected. If anything, her words seemed to calm him down. "I was hurting. I didn't know what was real anymore. So, I left to clear my head. I left so I could think long and hard about what I wanted to do. And I realized…that I was being selfish. I didn't take your feelings into account; how you would feel by my leaving."

"Damn right, you didn't," she spat out. "After trying to persuade me to give us a shot, after saving my life, you took off! Without leaving a note, or explaining yourself, or without even saying _goodbye_! After everything that went down between me and Dan, I didn't want to let myself… _be_ with anyone again! And then you came along, and I took a risk. I put my heart out on the line, because I thought you'd never hurt me. But you _did_."

"I know." He sighed again. "What you're feeling… Those feelings are real. But you were manipulated into feeling them, and…some of that is my fault."

"What?" She frowned. "How can you force me to feel…what I'm feeling?"

He looked away. "My Father kept the truth from me. He didn't give me all the information I needed to make a decision about you… An omission of the truth, which is still a lie no matter what I tell myself. And in learning that, I realized…that I've been doing the same to you."

Suspecting what he was talking about, Chloe asked uncertainly, "How?"

"I've never lied, Detective," said Lucifer. "I've always told you who I am. But you never believe me, and I've kept it that way when I can easily show you the truth. I let you carry on in blissful ignorance, and as a result you made a choice without having all the relevant facts – which isn't a choice at all. It's manipulation. And…I won't be my Father. I won't manipulate you any longer."

"Lucifer…" Chloe slowly stepped towards him, suspecting what he was about to do and fearing that she wasn't ready for it.

He was speaking with certainty. She knew what he was referring to, and to talk about that with aforementioned certainty, and knowing that he wasn't a liar…

She'd thrown out his blood for a reason. He was her friend, and she'd been afraid that if he turned out to be who he said he was, she would react terribly. She'd shot him the last time she'd been close to believing; she didn't want to do something stupid like that again.

 _He's not… He's not…_ The rationalist within her kept her sane; telling her that he could be talking about anything, or so caught up in his delusion that he was going to tell her or show her something silly. She held onto it.

Her hand reached out to him, because she didn't know what else to do. After hesitating for a moment, Lucifer took it in his own.

"Chloe…" Her name from his lips calmed her. "Please understand that…I will never hurt you. And I have never lied to you."

"You hurt me when you left," she said, trying to keep things light and calm her nerves. "And you just said you've been lying to me…"

He smiled a little. "Well, apart from those instances. Just… What happens after is your choice. And I won't fault you for whatever you choose." The look in his eyes… Sadness, pain and regret all rolled into one. There wasn't a single speck of hope in them; like he was staring directly at someone who was going to end his life.

She realized, with a start, that it was the same look he had months ago, when she'd been trying to arrest him after finding the preacher dead in his club.

"Lucifer…"

"Chloe…" A single tear left his eye. "I'm sorry."

And then…he _changed_.

The gasp that escaped Chloe was a natural reaction, and it was her police training that prevented her from reacting further, like yanking her hand back and moving away in fear. And what stopped her further police training from kicking in – the part when she drew her gun on an immediate threat – was the knowledge that the man standing before her was still her friend.

Even though he wasn't a man at all.

He was red, but not in the way she was expecting. Instead of a cartoon-y version of the Devil – horns, tail, pitch fork, goatee, cloven hooves – he just looked like a burn victim. His hair was gone, including his eyebrows. Her wide eyes took him in while her mouth remained open, taking in deep breaths to keep up with the demand from her lungs – which were moving a lot faster than her brain was. That seemed to have frozen at the sight before her, like it didn't know how to comprehend what she was seeing.

Her gaze looked down. Their hands were still joined, and she was squeezing his tightly. It was…comforting.

The irony wasn't lost on her that she was seeking comfort from the very same man who was causing her reaction in the first place.

She tried to slow her breathing. She focussed on one thing at a time. Lucifer was…he was…

He was hurt.

His entire body was a burn, and burns were _painful_. She knew from experience; back in high school her arm was sprayed with hot water accidentally during a science experiment. Never left a mark, thanks to her mother taking her to see a specialist. And it didn't hurt as bad as getting shot had – but it came pretty damn close.

And apparently Lucifer was immortal so of course the burn wouldn't kill him, but…

Examining his face, the pain from before was still there in his eyes – eyes that were full of red flame instead of his usual gentle dark brown – and she wondered if being in…his true _form_ hurt him.

"Does it hurt?" The question came out before she even realized she was speaking.

There were no eyebrows, but she could tell that Lucifer was frowning at her. "What?"

Chloe forced herself to step closer. It was his voice…Lucifer's voice… "How did it…happen?" Her other hand reached out towards his face. "Are you…OK? I mean-"

Before her hand could reach his skin, Lucifer's other hand shot out and stopped her. She was reminded of another night so long ago, when she'd seen his scars that were left behind from when he cut off his wings.

He used to have _wings_ …

Lucifer let her go; let go of both her hands, and he looked like his normal self again as he slowly backed away from her. He looked so shocked and overwhelmed, and Chloe wanted to hug him and never let go, but at the same time didn't move because he looked ready to bold like a frightened deer…

"You…you're not…"

In a moment of clarity Chloe realized that he'd shown her expecting her to run in terror or scream at the very least. And in the moment after that, Lucifer ran with unnatural speed to the door.

"Wait!"

The door was opened and then slammed closed behind him. She didn't even have the chance to step forwards.

 _Lucifer… He's…_

With her friend gone, it all came tumbling down on her.

It was all real. Everything he'd told her…

Chloe threw herself at the kitchen counter to prevent an ungraceful crash to the floor. She steadied herself as her brain caught up with what she'd seen; connecting all the dots, fitting in all the slots, finding reasons for everything she'd seen and heard… It all made sense. And if she was being completely honest with herself, a small part of her wasn't even that surprised.

The whole thing was inevitable, really. She supposed she knew it was coming, ever since she'd thrown his blood out.

She wanted to go after Lucifer, but when she pushed away from the counter and nearly stumbled, she thought better of it. Lucifer probably needed time, and so did she. The detective was in no condition to drive over to Lux, and she needed to process everything before talking to her friend again.

After all, she had a choice to make.

And Lucifer wouldn't be alone. Linda was going to keep an eye on him; had said so after his return. Along with Amenadiel, his brother, who was apparently an Angel. And Maze.

Who was a demon.

Chloe sighed. "Of course she is."


End file.
